I woke up today feeling absolutely amazing – I mean happy, not healthy. I’m still under the weather. But I keep having awesome dreams about prosperity.
Last night before lights out, I was watching a documentary about mammals. It was profound. Just the way us mammals evolve. Predators evolve to out-smart / out-run their prey, and their prey evolves to out-smart / out-run their predator. It’s the great almighty rock tumbler that shapes us into our higher, stronger selves.
During mating season, all the males coral into the center of the flock, marking their territory, holding their ground, while the females peruse which males they like best. While all the weaker males on the fringes get attacked by predators. The process both weeds out the weak, but also has the opportunity to strengthen them. It’s perfect harmony – all harmonizing to the beat of evolution.
Evolution never ceases to amaze me!
I feel that we are at a new stage in our evolution. A kind of evolution that isn’t based on environment or global changes. It’s an evolution in consciousness – we are so aware of ourselves, aware of how the environment and circumstances can shape us – so aware of the process that we are able to leap out of it for the first time in history.
There are no “bad guys.” People who attack others are the ones still living in that animal kingdom of survival. They’re a necessary evil for evolution. But now things are shifting. Compassion is weighing more than revenge. Justice is prevailing over hatred and apathy.
Lose all hate and gain awareness. That’s all there is to it. If you choose to join in the action, it’s like going back into the game. Playing a game that best suits you until you gain that next evolutionary leap – but the game itself does not matter. It doesn’t matter if you win or lose – it’s a means to an end. Anything in-between is all a delusion of ego.
The world we live in is a direct construct of what’s in our conscious minds. If we all gain awareness, there will be peace – but are we ready for that?
It’s so easy to talk like this now that I made peace with the Melanie Haters (don’t like that term anymore). I’m not a contradiction to anything I write. It’s true freedom and true forgiveness. It’s all so simple – really simple! How can people not see it? If the Haters are not at peace, it’s all within themselves and has nothing to do with me. I am outside looking in – no longer in it – no longer affected.
I’ll tell you why they can’t see it. It’s hard to put it in words because it’s still so young in my guts – in my feelings.
We can’t escape one an others realities. We get sucked in. It’s because of the conscious energy that shapes our world – we shape it unknowingly. And on a smaller scale, we shape each other unknowingly. Just with our thoughts! Our judgements, beliefs, accusations – it becomes REAL.
That’s why it’s so important not to judge / blame people – we feed into that hatred or war. Everyone’s at their own level of progression – you must respect their progress (this was a heavy insight told to me by ayahuasca).
Guru’s will tell you this stuff and everyone’s like, “yeah yeah we know….”, but to actually understand and see it! People can’t understand it yet. They’re still caught in the game, the delusion. Caught in that mass conscious energy that they’re not aware of.
Anyway, when I was in my early 20′s, I became aware of how other people’s energies effected my own. If they saw something in me (can not be put into words, but felt), I felt what they saw - I truly felt it. If they thought I was cute, my cuteness would shine. If they thought I was funny, I became a laugh riot. I became what people believed about me.
I turned this over and over in my head.
“How can I still be that person without the help of others to see it in me first? What if they start seeing something bad that isn’t true?”
It’s about strength, belief and self-actualization.
People inevitably activate certain characteristics in others. Everyone’s multi-faceted, highly complicated personalities having depth and emotion. If you’re around someone goofy, and if they also see the goofiness in you – you will in turn act goofy. Even if you’re depressed as shit, it won’t matter. It won’t matter because someone saw something in you that wasn’t depression – it was fun and laughter.
You become who you hang out with.
I learned this at a young age – possibly in high school. And when I turned 21, I realized I could easily use this insight to manipulate people however I wanted. I actually had this discussion with that girl I was in love with when I was 21 and she said to me, “That’s not you. You don’t want to use people.”
And her words to this day, put that question out of my head. No, of course that’s not me.
How simple life is when you know who you are.
How simple life is once you learn the formula’s.
Basically what I’m trying to say is that everyone has the capacity to activate beliefs in others. If you see something in a person, just by you seeing it (it doesn’t need to be verbal or communicated in any way), your conscious energy is a trigger that pulls on their hidden facet. And the more people you have believing in you, the easier it is to be shaped by that belief and make it stick. It can make you feel powerful, or can make you feel weak.
Just remember that strength is beauty in both the animal kingdom and in the spiritual kingdom. If you’re going to evolve, do it right – be brilliant at it!
Goddamn I feel wonderful today. Super sick, but super happy. I feel the potential in me swelling up and expanding my ribcage. There’s not enough of me to go around, and I can’t be contained any longer. I feel large and inside I feel rock solid. I want to share myself with others.
This is all part of my solitude cycle. I always do this. I figure shit out by being alone with myself and as I do this, it’s like revving up my engine. Maybe at first I need to repair my engine, but then once I get her started, the old girl rev’s and heats up and bucks around like a wild horse on a lasso.
My thoughts keep me tethered. And when my thoughts aren’t tethering me, my body is. There’s not enough of me for everyone everyday. There’s not enough of me for ME.
I get worn out so easily it seems. People wear me out because they are like friction – not compatible with myself. They are the velcro that sticks to me when all I want is for them to be on the same side of fury. Fury, not hookie.