Sorry if my life depresses you but….

I’m miserable today.  My dad woke me up by banging on my door at 10 am.

Dad – Come on wake up we have to get your tires.

I was having a weird dream about attending a wedding, and then becoming the bride of that wedding.

Me – Okay, okay, I’m up.

I laid there some more to try to fall back into the dream, but it was lost.

I get up and go to the bathroom.  I can hear Robert upstairs running the water.  It was going to be another cold shower for me today.

My annoyance level was up and beyond grasp of human comprehension.  I take my cold shower and try to wash the conditioner out of my hair while screaming at the ceiling;

“Shut the god damn water off!”

When I got out of the shower, shivering in my bathrobe and towel on my head I yell up again;

“I’m really getting sick of taking cold showers!”

I can hear my aunt upstairs saying, “she likes to take really hot showers that burn her skin.”

I should’ve said something back like, ‘no, I just want to shave my legs without cutting off all the goosebumps.’  But I was too tired.  I’m drained and miserable today, they win.

I finished getting ready and settled myself in my car.  My dad was buying me new tires whether I wanted them or not.  My back tires were as smooth as ass cheeks – seriously, not one shred of tread.

I waited in my car for my dad, but he was fiddling around with something in the driveway.  He takes a tire from the back of his truck and starts rolling it towards my car.

Me – What are you doing with that?

Dad – I’m going to see if I can get tubing put in, it keeps getting flat.

He opens up the back door of my car and goes to shove the muddy tire in.

Me – The trunk!  Put it in the trunk!

I get out of the car and pop the trunk.  There was a big cooler in there that I forgot about from the summer.  It was when I went to the Lilith fair, and we brought beer, liquor and sandwiches. 

My dad’s eyes teared up from the acrid smell when he opened the lid of this offensive cooler.  The water was brown and gross.  There were some unopened beer cans mixed in with the empty ones.  My dad read my mind and told me not to drink them.

He taken the cooler out, put the muddy, wet tire in, and off we went to Sears.  Only two minutes went by before my dad started asking me what my goals are.

Dad – Why don’t you be a nurse?

Me – Because I don’t want to be a nurse, why don’t you be a nurse?

I was so cranky and miserable at this point.

Dad – It’s not all about emptying bed pans, they have candy stripers that do that.

Are there still candy stripers?

Dad – How much do you make working for Melissa?

Me – $35 an hour

Dad – What if you owned that business?  Would you make a lot of money?

Me – No, I don’t know.  I don’t care.   I don’t want to own it.

Dad – Don’t you have any goals?  Any ambition?

Me -Nope.

Dad – You’re your own person, you can do anything you want.

Me – If that’s the case I’m going to live in Thailand.

Dad – Thailand!?  Why Thailand?  Nothing’s there and they hate Americans.

Me – They don’t hate americans, they call westerners Falang, and they love white people. 

My Dad shakes his head.

Me – I’m going to make shoes out of my old tires and hand them out to all the poor people when I get there.

There was an empty coors light can by my dad’s feet.

Dad – You should watch out when you drink.  This shouldn’t be here.

Me – It’s not mine.

Dad – Who’s is it?

Me – Some guys (Hercules).

I have to give a massage down the street.  I can’t catch a break.  I work even on my days off.

Yesterday I had to massage a 500 pound black guy who’s been coming to see me for three years.  I can’t do it anymore.  I hate massaging people, but compared to other jobs, it’s not so bad.  But I do hate it.  Ugh.

Last night when I was massaging the 600 pound man, he upped it to 90 minutes during the massage.   I hate when people do that.  He also said he wants to start coming in every week and between his chiropractor, physical therapist and getting massaged by me, he will get rid of his bad knee’s, bad hips, low back pain……

I wanted to ask him why he doesn’t try to lose some fucking weight, but kept my mouth shut.

I’m miserable today.  Okay, now I really have to go.

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1 Comment

Filed under My OCD cousin who wants to kill me, Uncategorized

One response to “Sorry if my life depresses you but….

  1. Steph

    😦 I’m sorry you are so miserable today Mel.
    You are in a funk like I am. 😦 no good!
    just sing your theme song from HS “ain’t no body gonna hold me down” “oh no”! P-Diddy style!
    This too shall pass!

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