You want what massaged?

I massaged a Russian woman today who wanted me to massage her from the waist down – the naval down.

“Umm…you want your stomach massaged?”

“Just here down.”  She spoke in a Russian accent and pointed to her naval. 

Honestly, it didn’t make any sense.  People get their legs massaged, and some people want their abdomen massaged, they are two separate things.  I don’t know how to massage half a stomach. 

She wanted to lay on her back for the whole massage, just wanting her legs, feet, arms, and somehow the lower half of her stomach.  I draped the sheet in a way that would make it impossible to reveal anything as small as a pubic hair, and pushed the sheet up over her hips to show the side of her stomach.  I did my best to do what she said and whatever I did, she liked.

I’m tired.  I couldn’t fall asleep last night.  I was thinking I should go to college, and I made up this huge fantasy about me attending college for pharmacology and then finding a cure for cancer.  It was a big long story that I concocted and it kept me awake all night.

Anyway, I’m going to try to enroll in September.  I’m not totally gun-ho about it, but I would choose college life for 6 years rather than a lifetime of weird people wanting weird massages.



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13 responses to “You want what massaged?

  1. Steph

    Lol that is creepy gross! I hate anyone touching my stomach let alone massage it!! Good for you for going to school!!! I’m proud of you!

  2. Well, I have a lot to do before enrollment, like taking the stupid Sat’s over. If I score high on my sat’s I’m hoping they will over-look my crappy gpa from high school. Throwing a rager at my house the day before the big exam was a bad idea.

  3. Steph

    Lol I know right!!!!! Holly was the only one to go home early and study!!!! The party was way worth not scoring well haha

    • Yes I agree. And I knew I wasn’t going to college right away, I never cracked a book to study for it so I firgure I would just take it over again when I have to.

  4. Steph

    Good luck! You can do it!

  5. Holly

    Ok chicka’s lets get something straight – I went home during that party but it wasn’t to study for the SAT’s. I went home around 10:30 – 11; I had to get some sleep before I woke up at 7! And Mel- it doesnt matter that you didnt go to school – your really good at what you do (even if you get creepy clients that like their lower abdoment rubbed)!

    • I don’t care if I’m good at what I do. I don’t want to do it forever. I don’t like it that much. And I dont care that I didn’t go to school either, but I think it will be good for me, don’t you think so? Do you think I shouldn’t bother?

      • Holly

        I always thought you should go to school – especially for something like writing or philosophy! you need to find something that you love to do 🙂

      • Yeah I do, unfortunately massage is not it. If I was really passionate about it, I would’ve tried a little harder to start my own business instead of giving up.

      • Holly

        You’re not giving up, when you go to school, you are just starting a new chapter in your life. I believe the average person changes careers 5 times. So…if we count, customer service (bloomingdales), retail (dress barn), waitressing, massage therapy, and the one your destined to have in the future – your right on track! And you’ll eventually find something that you will love to do 🙂

      • Thanks Holly! I can’t think of a better respose than thanks. My brain feels like soup. Oh don’t forget realtor and pretend landscaper.

  6. brie brie

    go to somewhere like tunxis or naugatuck and get all your prerequisites done then transfer. also, i don’t think you need to take the SAT’s for community college, so one less think to worry about. they are a lot cheaper so you will not rack up tons of college loans too.

    • Thats a good idea. I’m definitely going for it. I have absolutely nothing to lose by going back to school, except going on vacations with you guys. You will have to take a big cardboard cutout of me with you and take pictures of me having fun.

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