Melanie goes to a psychic! Her name is Bonnie and she’s located on the Silas Dean Hwy, Rocky Hill, CT

The Catcher in the Rye

The Catcher in the Rye (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I bought a psychic reading on Living Social for 30 bucks because I figured why not, right?  I was hoping to glean some insights into my upcoming Camino trip.

Anyway, she was a complete charlatan!

I can’t leave a review for her anywhere because she doesn’t have a website and her business isn’t listed in any directory.  I’m guessing it’s because of the mass flood of people leaving one star reviews telling others to stay away.  She doesn’t even have a business card and claims she’s been doing readings for 22 years.

If I can’t leave a review anywhere, I’ll leave one here on my blog.  If I’m specific enough, people will find this post when googling her.

Her name is Bonnie and she’s located on the Silas Dean Hwy, Rocky Hill, CT.  She also works out of her home in New Milford on Danbury Rd.

Before you read this post, please note that I am in no way bias towards tarot readings.  I believe in synchronicity and alignment with the universe unfolding itself in small markers that respectfully guide us along our paths.  I’ve been to two readings before seeing her, and both psychics (especially the first), were kind and genuine.  They told me both good and bad, not asking any questions or seeking responses, only reading directly whats on the card in front of them and using intuition to decipher the meanings.  This woman however, did none of that.

All Bonnie did was ask me questions and see how I responded to them.  It was only from my responses, was she able to direct her “reading”.  She laid out ALL (72 I believe) the cards, one after the other without even really looking at them or telling me what each card meant.  She started going at it, like reading from a script.

Me thinking – “Oh come on, she’s one of these hoaxers?”

2 minutes into the reading she announces that I have a problem that can only be fixed if I let her do a diagnosis and chakra balancing.

Me – “Um okay, so how much does that cost?”

She ignored my question and continued telling me that something was wrong with me.  She told me that I give all my love to people, and don’t get any in return – basically telling me that I was unloved.  She said I wake up everyday without any excitement, and that I’m depressed and wondering hopelessly (she actually said I have no hope!) through life.  My soul vacated my body because there is so much negativity in there that the soul lost all hope for me.

Bonnie – “You’re weak and need help.  When you first walked in here I was like, ‘this poor girl needs help!'”

She said the man in my life can’t be trusted and talks horribly behind my back but is nice to my face.  She said there are girls who also say horrible things about me behind my back.

Me – “So what do I do about it?”

Bonnie – “You’re in a fog.  I can see you trying to push the fog away but you can’t push away fog.”

She giggled as she mimed me caught in a fog.

Bonnie – “I don’t know exactly what the problem is without doing a diagnosis.”

Bonnie – “Do you know why you’re feeling this way?”

Me – “Uhhh……”

Bonnie – “Do you know what’s causing this?”

Me – “I think things happen to make me a stronger person.  To learn from it.”

I shrug my shoulders.

She shakes her head and brushes it off.

Bonnie – “It’s because a dark entity has attached itself to you and is sucking out all your energy.”

Me – “Is it a person?”

Bonnie – “No, it’s an entity.  A dark entity.  They are orbs.”

Me – “How do I get rid of it?”

Bonnie – “You’ll need a diagnosis and chakra cleansing.”

(Completely unrelated, but I’m sitting here in work eating lunch / dinner and I just have to ask myself, why must I put salad dressing over everything?  I’m eating white rice for cripes sake!  I’m gross, I know….)

Anyway, back to to Bonnie.

Bonnie – “Why am I sensing you’re scared for a baby?”

Me – “I don’t know, that’s weird.”

Bonnie – “It could be that you want kids or have kids, or know someone with kids….”

Me – “No idea.  I don’t think much about kids.”

Bonnie – “I’m seeing you looking at yourself in the mirror and not knowing who you are.  You don’t know who you are because your soul is no longer in you.  It’s just behind you.  You notice how I keep looking behind you?”

Me – “Huh, that’s interesting.  I really only came here to get a reading about my upcoming trip.  Do you see anything in there having to do with travel?”

Bonnie – “Oh yes I see travel in here.  Nothing will happen in your travels and you will come back and have these same problems.”

I wanted to slap her so bad.

Me – “Uhh….”

The whole act was a sales pitch for me to buy a chakra cleansing for $275.  Completely unbelievable!  I mean come on now, you got to be kidding me with this shit, right?

I’m not saying that she was a horrible con-artist, I’m not saying that at all.  She was very engaging and played her role perfectly, only she was up against me – a girl who takes absolutely nothing seriously, and can’t be touched by outside influence.

They call these types of con’s, mentalists.  Magicians often use mentalism in their acts to woo the crowd.  And honestly, it can be really amazing and inspiring to watch.  Like it really IS magic.

I think it’s cool – it’s really neat to see how our brains work.  And witness how incredibly strong the power of suggestion is.  However, this kind of trickery doesn’t work on someone like me.

Bonnie – “If the chakra cleansing doesn’t work on you, I will pray for you.”

Me – “Oh thanks, does prayer help?”

Bonnie – “Yes prayer helps a lot, but you praying for yourself won’t work.  You’re not strong enough.”

Me – “So how do I get stronger?”

Bonnie – “By keeping the negativity out and keeping your chakra’s in balance.”

Bonnie – “I’m sensing trouble between your crotch area up to your sternum.  There’s something going on there.”

Me – “Really?  I feel completely healthy.”

Bonnie – “It can be an unbalance.”

Me – “Oh…..”

Bonnie – “I’m feeling things are unhealthy at home.  There’s no happiness there.  Care to share that with me?”

Me – “Strange, I’m completely happy at home.  I like where I live.”

She was reaching from every angle.  Trying out an assortment of bait until she hooked me.  I didn’t give her anything though.  Sure I should move out of my parents house, but I really am happy living here.  That’s why I won’t leave!  Society wants me out, but I’m beyond that rhetorical reasoning.

I was entertained with watching her efforts.  I was also being passively aggressive by not calling her out on her bullshit.  There’s so many fakes and phony’s out there, that I find it necessary to pick my battles because most are not worth it.  Besides, relating too much to Catcher in the Rye caused Mark Chapman to kill Lennon and also there were said to be many copies of that book in Lee Harvey Oswald’s hotel room when he shot JFK.

Focusing on the fakes and phony’s will drive you crazy.  Its paranoia and delusion.

Bonnie – “What religion are you?”

Me – “I’m Catholic, but I believe there’s truth in all religions.”

Bonnie – “Yes Catholic, I knew that.  It feels to me you lost your faith.  You pray and feel that no one listens.”

Me – “Uhh…..”

Bonnie – “No one is there listening to your prayers.”

I felt like such a douche.  Everything she said was the complete opposite of what I believe.  My faith is unshakeable!  I’m going on a Goddamned holy pilgrimage to see the remains of St. James for chrissake.  I believe in God, in holy places, in suffering and humility – I live it!  I own that shit.

Bonnie was fishing for details.  She needed more info from me.  I wasn’t giving her anything to work with.

Bonnie – “Why do you feel that way?  These cards are very accurate.  I picked them just for you.  They were blessed in the Vatican and painted with gold.”

Me – “I feel that God is always there, but it’s up to me to take action.  I have to rely on myself.”

God helps those who help themselves – this is cemented in my head as fact.  I see it everywhere, in everyone.

Bonnie – “But you’re too weak…”

Bonnie – “I see no happiness in your future, not in romance or anywhere.”

This marked the time when I had heard enough.  I was no longer being entertained.  My patience level was in the red.  She tried so hard to hook me, that she was reaching way too far.  She wanted to play on my weaknesses, to get me in that low place where she can easily manipulate and have me rely solely on her for cures and answers – much the same as it was with Amy.  Seeing it play out in new form was remarkable.  Everyone’s out to get something whether it be control or money (often times both!).

Me – “Okay, well thanks for opening my eyes.  Sorry for bringing bad energy into your place.”

I said this as I stood up and flung on my coat

Bonnie – “It’s okay, that’s what the crystals are for.”

I understand that people have to make a living and all, we all have to do what we gotta do, but to prey on the kindness and gullibility of unsuspecting, trusting souls is NOT the way.  If I believed even just one word of any of that, I would be traumatized.  Words are damaging!  People usually seek out mediums for guidance or help in their lives, and that alone marks them for being vulnerable.  Vulnerable people want to believe, they want explanations, answers and cures to their troubles.

It’s a perfect trap for them to fall victim to.  And these con-artists will never admit to anyone that what they do is a hoax.  They will defend themselves tooth and nail until they’re blue in the face.  It’s all ego, self-preservation, uncompassionate, disrespectful.  They might even go so far as to rationalize it, fooling themselves and their victims into believing it’s not fraud.

“Well if they’re agreeing with what I’m saying, then it MUST be true.  They’re allowing it to happen so what I’m doing isn’t wrong.  They have full control.  I’m just the one guiding it.  I’m helping people confront their demons.”

Vulnerable people don’t have full control.  They can get sucked into abusive relationships, believing every negative thing said about them.  It happened to me!

And even if I did call her out on all her bullshit, just by calling her out, she would take offense.  It wouldn’t matter whether or not what I was saying was true, she would only hear that I’m calling her a liar.  In her mind, I have no proof for those accusations and therefore it’s uncalled for.  To be called a liar, a con (even when it’s fact), is a huge insult.  She would defend her character, because in her world, she can never be wrong.

This experience was exactly what I needed to remind myself of those 90% of malleable idiots in the world.  They are idiots, yes, but I don’t believe it’s who they truly are.  These people are blind to who they really are, they’re just too far away to see.  But I see it.  I see the good in everyone, including the charlatans.

There is goodness in everyone.  We are all the same, made up of the same material, the same psychic energies that create life.  No one is better or worse than anyone.  Are some wiser?  Yes, absolutely.  Are some more awake and lucid?  You damn well believe it!  But no one is more entitled than their fellow man.  We are all equal, and equally here together.

Imagine the growth and healing that would take place if only Bonnie allowed herself to admit that what she’s doing is wrong.  The weight of guilt will lift,  God will be let back into her heart.  It’s a purge, a letting go.  It’s so easy to let go, but people are intimately intertwined with their ego’s – a huge illusion.  Ego exists only in the mind, it’s not real.

I never understood exactly what ego was before ingesting ayahuasca.  I thought it was all about narcissism and personal identity, and far from being the key into awareness.  If you never felt its true meaning, you won’t understand anything I write about it.  You won’t get it.  The true sense of what ego is all about, is so much deeper than what we believe it to be.  The literal definition can be easily understood and processed, but its true meaning can only be felt.  To actually feel it and see it, you’re able to detach from it.  The enlightened being can do this.

The ego is so deep in us, so embedded that you don’t know yourself without it.  It’s like a fish swimming in water not knowing he’s wet.  That’s the best way I can describe it to those of you who don’t understand.  And please remember that I’m no better or more knowledgable than any of you out there reading this.  I’m only able to understand and see it because I taken ayahuasca.  Ayahuasca is the only dividing factor and it’s something we all can experience.

I see in so many people, all their fears, needs, self-esteem, I see exactly where they need to let go, but I’m incapeable of doing it for them.  All I can do is see their good, and hope they come around in seeing it too.

I’m posting this mainly for those poor individuals who get duped into believing nonsense.  I’m posting Bonnie’s info not out of spite or anger (well, it was that at first), but to help others avoid any pain or trauma caused by this woman, or anyone similar.

I see all this so clearly.  I only see truth in the absence of my ego and fear.  It’s like, all clutter has filtered out of me and left no sticky residue.  Understanding flows through me without any hooks plugging it up.  Why can’t others see what I see?  It’s not hard!  And no, I’m not fully detached from my ego.  It takes a lot of strength and energy to let it go (although it seems to be getting easier).  I’m attached to it, but it’s different now.  It’s different simply because I’m aware of it.  But still, it’s a slippery little bugger.

I’m sure I sound like a complete crazy person to those of you who don’t understand.  I sound crazy, but I don’t care.

Anyway, enough on that.

I had an awesome day in work today!  I had two full paying clients, two re-books and a few new regulars added to my repertoire.  And you know how I did it?  By being compassionate, living in the moment with my clients and focusing entirely on their needs.  And oh man, people love this!

I learned from yesterdays tarot reading, I learned to do the complete opposite of a charlatan.  It’s not unfathomable for a massage therapist to be a charlatan.  There are different degree’s of it.  Where there is no compassion for your clients, customers, or whomever you may be serving (we are all serving someone) and only doing what you do for money – that is a form of a con.  People over-look it because 90% of us do it.  We gain people’s confidence with the intention of being paid, or gaining control, power, prestige, etc…

It’s so crazy that it was only yesterday while I was massaging (before going to see Bonnie), I was thinking about this exact same thing!  I thought of myself as an asshole just doing my job for money, my heart not being fully in it.  And today, I completely understand.  The universe never ceases to amaze.  Honestly, it’s amazing!

And for all of you out there who need guidance, no one can help you.  It hurts to hear, but it’s true.  Just by reading this, I’m not helping you, I can’t help you.  It’s only in your power to ultimitely believe what you want to believe.  Just the same goes for finding the strength to help yourself.  No one will save you.  God isn’t “out there,” he’s in you.  He was there the whole time.  The minute you open your eyes to him, tap into your hidden strength, you’ll come to realize that you are the only person you’ll ever need.  You’re the only person who can save you.  Taking responsibility for your life and your actions are a sure-fire way to do this.  Only you can create your life and be held responsible for it.  By placing blame on the absence of God, or other people, will indeed drive you crazy.  You lose yourself, spiral, and eventually you can fall completely, or linger on in that mid-zone where most people live.  They control their defects as best they can.  Holding onto any small happiness they encounter, however fleeting, they hold on.

If you’ve fallen, there will always be a hand to pick you up.  Where no hand is given, you lend it to yourself.

Disclaimer:  No conversation can be accurate when relying solely on memory.  Bonnie wouldn’t let me record the session (yet another proof it was bs).  What claims have been made here are entirely subjective to my view and what I got out of the reading.  If I was able to leave a review elsewhere, I would be entitled to these statements being that they are true to my knowledge and ability to recall what was said.

Please don’t sue me.

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Filed under journal, random thoughts, rant, Self help

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