Have a Ball kicking Easter Everybody!

It’s Easter and I’m downstairs in my room watching episodes of Lost on Netflix.  Earlier, me and my Pop’s drank a full bottle of wine and talked about life, about everything really.

My brother got in a fight with his 14 year old daughter at the dinner table.  It was insanity.  My OCD cousin who never leaves his bed for anything, was going to eat with us today, but stayed in his room after hearing the shouts.

Everyone’s crazy.  And now here I am still tipsy on wine, watching a TV series that I’ve seen twice before.  I didn’t eat much because of the high stress.  I’m incapable of eating under stressful conditions – there’s just no way.  I’m happy for that.  I’ll always be a skinny bitch.

I love both my brother and my niece.  I understand everything that’s happening between them.

I was not emotionally involved in the situation, I didn’t tremble with fear as I watched my niece kick her father in the balls.  No, instead I grabbed her by the shoulders to calm her down.  But I was still affected.  Even when I’m above this kind of nonsense, I’m still affected by it.  I tried to understand why that is, as I stared at my heaping plate of uneaten ham.

It’s the energy that effects me.  The negativity.  I feel everything and I can’t escape it.

They are both trapped in trying to control each other, not letting their hearts open, not being honest with one another.  All I can do is watch it play out.  They don’t want anyone’s help.

So, me and my Pops got drunk on wine while my brother stormed out and Alexis hid downstairs.  It’s all so childish.  They are not adults, neither of them.  But hey, I still love them.  I don’t raise my voice or get angry.  All I can do is plant the seeds of forgiveness.

I can see them suffering over nothing and it breaks my heart.  It’s all self-inflicted.

My bro is starting to see me for advice.  And the shit I tell him, man – o – man, it’s gold I tell you, GOLD!  You have to live through this crap in order to understand it.

I feel sorry for my niece.  I don’t want her to feel ganged up on.  That’s the worst.  She will become what everyone thinks she is.

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