Oh num she body oh num she body oh num she body.
I can’t get out of bed. The stress of my upcoming trip, work, going out, hiking – everything has taken its toll on your poor ol’ pal Mel.
Today is April 24. That leaves me with 18 more days until I’m on a plane searching for my spirit animal and running around the desert high on peyote thinking I’m a coyote . And since my visuals tend to be that of a cartoonish variety (judging from a fever induced hallucination I had as a kid), I’ll no doubt turn into Wile E Coyote falling off a cliff.
Aside from my peyote adventures, in 24 days I’ll be walking the entire width of Spain with nothing but the clothes on my back and the boots on my feet.
Today as I lay here in bed completely exhausted while looking at the path that lies ahead, I turn into that turban dude from Indiana Jones getting his heart ripped out.
If I feel completely annihilated now, what’s to come of me on day 5 of my pilgrimage?
This isn’t me. I’m not an adventurer although I always wanted to be, always pretended to be. I’m just a plain girl from CT. I’m a little bit poor, a little bit rich – a little redneck and a little bookish. My friends are all straight-edged for the most part. All of them going by the book, going through the stages and emotions of getting older. Finding their places and comforts. I have all that I’ll ever need right here at home, but it’s not enough – it was never enough.
Hence my blog, hence the reason for having 30 plus jobs over the years, hence the reason for breaking free and starting my own business. I just want to be free from the circumstances that shape my life. And by breaking free, I create my own set of circumstances.
So in 18 days my three-year-old blog of written words may turn into a video diary mainly because I won’t have the strength or resources to write. I’m not sure how I feel about that. I hide behind the written word, but I can’t hide behind a camera in my face.
The reason why I write is that it brings meaning to my life. I can handle anything because I write – all experiences are never for nothing. My life is the thing that’s most precious to me, so I want to capture it.
And I’m taking you with me.