This was my Thursday night.
I was at my poorest about 10 days ago. My car broke down, bills were due, rent was due and I had zero dollars.
So what do I do? I contacted a Groupon sales rep and together him and I decided that I should sell 400 massage coupons. Yes, you heard correctly – 400 massage coupons! There goes my life for the next several weeks. My money problems will be no longer, but now I actually have to work like a human being. I have to get up everyday and go to the office and actually work.
My brain is not functioning. I’m freaking out a bit and feel that I have so much to do – so much! My room is a mess, I havent showered in days, I’m still beat up from labor day weekend even though today is Wednesday.
I have clients calling me that I need to call back and Groupon hasn’t even started yet.
I have to buy more lotion, sheets, face cradle covers – get an hourly day planner instead of the monthly one I have now. So much to do…
I have to get out of bed and shower. Yes, that’s a good start. I’m in trouble arent’ I?
Anyway, I went to Vermont with Amy and Dave this past weekend. It was awesome. Dave and I taken his motorcycle for the leisurely four-hour ride. It was gorgeous. Amy’s log cabin is brand spanking new. It’s made out of pine logs and it still smells like fresh cut pine.
I can’t write, I have too much to do and I can’t focus. I made a YouTube video of Vermont – that should sum up the trip.
I started my evening at this excellent restaurant called the Aquaterra in plainville. I ordered the stuffed tilapia.
Best tilapia in the world!!
Holly had the stuffed tilapia, too. She also agree’s that it’s a very fine dish.
After dinner I decided to impress Holly with my ability to curl my lip like Elvis, wiggle my ears and lift one eyebrow like The Rock. I have a plethora of God-given natural talent.
Showcasing my talents made me very thirsty for beer.
I feel faint and need beer pronto
Can anyone possibly give me a beer? Anyone?
Yeah rock on!
I love you baby beer
Do you love me too beer?
Kiss me one last time before I toss you away
This picture is missing something, but what?
Beer is important before scuba diving
There are many ways of drinking beer
Macgruber taught me how to drink beer thru a snorkel
Having two snorkels makes it easier to breathe
Can't forget the beer
Doing important research on my laptop to find the benefits of wearing goggles and a snorkel while not in water. There's got to be some benefit somewhere.
Holly is a history teacher and so I have to study hard to understand her when she talks.
This is a good time to paint my toenails
and make a few important calls
Happy New Year!
On Saturday after work I went to a party/picnic and drank beer after beer then popped a xanax (not prescribed to me). I don’t normally pop pills, but my judgement was not working and it seemed like a good idea at the time. I was slurring my words and completely zoned out on the front porch by myself. I don’t remember doing that. Since then I’ve been having lapses in memory that have me a bit worried.
Yesterday I went to a Rockcats game.
[video removed upon request]
When I was six or seven I had a bad experience at my uncle’s softball game. I got hit in the head by a foul ball and was knocked unconscious. I remember waking up in my dad’s arms. Now I have a fear of foul balls.
I drank four or five big cups of bud light and wasn’t paying much attention to the game until my friend shouted, “look out!” I heard the crowd around me muttering warnings. It was like I was in a WWI flash back where all I could hear were bombs going off and choppers over head. I ducked down out of my seat and covered my head trembling. The ball landed in a big thud on my bench not more than 2 feet away from me. I almost died! What’s worse than death would be a tremendously high doctor bill (I don’t have insurance).
I drank every day for the past four days. My memory is shot. On our ride home from the game I kept talking in accents. Particularly the southern accent Billy Bob Thorton used in Sling Blade.
“I’m from south Cheshire. Mmmm Hmmmm.”
Filed under humor, video's
I was tired tonight and just wanted to go to sleep, but my 11-year-old niece was bothering me. Here is the footage that she shot. It’s so interesting that you won’t be able to turn away.
I was eating an eggplant parmesan grinder and totally had sauce on my face.
And here’s the poo……
I was soooo tired. There’s more to that video but I guess they can’t go over two minutes. My niece said I looked like Dr. Evil, and then I asked for my camera back. So you really didn’t miss much.
That is my little life.
She never did flush the toilet…